5 Ways to Boost Your Confidence
Excerpts from this post were taken from the podcast notes for Chaos Queens Podcast Episode 28.
Can we talk about confidence for a minute?
Isaac Serwanga states “Confidence is not something anyone can do for you.” Do you believe that? You are 100% in charge of your own confidence.
If the haters try to get you down, try your very hardest to brush that negative shit off and charge forward. You’re never going to please everyone, so as long as you stay true to yourself, you should hold your head high and not let that crown slip, Queen.
To be clear, I’m not talking about just self confidence for your looks or you hustle, but really having confidence in yourself and your ability to do ALL. THE. THINGS.
I know it’s sometimes difficult to pump ourselves up when we need a confidence boost, but it’s so important. What would you tell your sister or your best friend or your daughter when she needs a confidence boost?
“You are more beautiful than Cinderella!” - Bridesmaids Movie
When my kids start to use self-deprecating language, I SHUT THAT DOWN by saying "HEY! Don't talk about my daughter/son that way!" I won't let anyone talk bad about them, even themselves.
When being criticized: Consider the Source
If the criticizer isn't someone you genuinely respect, don't take their opinions to heart. Let it roll off you like water off the back of a duck and keep on trucking. It takes a lot of hard work, energy and tenacity to create something, so don't let the opinion of someone who doesn't appreciate the work get the better of you.
Now, I know this is really easy to SAY, and harder to put into practice. My best advice when starting out: take it one small step at a time. Hey, it worked for the astronauts...
I'm super guilty of having a quick comeback when people criticize me to my face. Then I play the "OOOH! I should have said _____ instead" game for the next few days. Sometimes the best response to criticism or the comments from your haters, is no response at all.
YOU. ARE. WORTH. IT.
Here are 5 Ways you can boost your confidence:
1) Write your BADASS List:
Brainstorm all the things you have accomplished in your life (so far). Have you won a major award, completed a significant task, or championed a meaningful cause? Do you volunteer at the SPCA? Are you a veteran who served your country? A successful business owner?
It all goes on the list.
Now, I want you to think of things that you are really proud of yourself for. Do you win community cooking competitions or taught yourself a new language as an adult? This second brainstorm is for all the things that you think are amazing that the “world” might not consider a huge accomplishment, but that holds meaning to you. I bet you can fill the whole page with things you are proud of yourself for.
Put these on the list, also.
Check out these tips and more on my YouTube Video about building your BADASS List.
Share your list with us on Instagram by tagging me: @shannonbally #badasslist
2) Poll Your Friends On What They Think You Are Great At:
What do your friends think of you? Probably that you’re pretty damn amazing since they’re friends with you. Most people don’t stay friends with shitty people. I will tell you, this is a tough thing to do because it makes us vulnerable. We can’t control the answers and even if we think we know how people will respond, there’s no real knowing until they send it to you.
Here’s the script I used:
“Hey, I’m working on a project and my coach wanted me to ask a few questions to my friends and family. Would you mind answering a few questions? It would really help me a lot!
What is something I’m known for? When you think of me, what is it you see me doing or being? (Other than your daughter/friend/wife/sister)
What is one thing that you would choose to extract from me and put into your life? Something I do or have accomplished or think - what would you unplug from me and plug into your life or operational process?”
I sent this to a few people who’s opinion I really cared about. That’s the second trick - you have to actually care about how these people perceive you. If you don’t care, why would it matter how they perceive you. You don’t want a stranger’s opinion. You shouldn’t value a stranger’s opinion. Not for this exercise.
3) Create Something. Then perfect it.
Embrace the suck. Everyone sucks at something new. Be okay with sucking at first. Picture it as a benchmark or creating the “before” frame in your goal’s before and after comparison.
It is very rare that anyone is an expert right out of the gate. At anything.
4) Practice Positive Affirmations and Positive Self-Talk
If you’re used to saying to yourself “I’m so stupid” or “wow, that was dumb of me” then STOP!
You are hardwiring your brain to think poorly of you. Why would you invest time or energy into something you don’t even like? You have to love yourself first. Even if you feel weird or it makes you uncomfortable, tell yourself you “I love you, you’re amazing, and you can accomplish anything. Literally anything” And then, the trick is, believe yourself!
I’m pretty sure none of your friends from #2 above said they think your strength is that you’re a great liar!
Be good to yourself.
5) Visualize yourself accomplishing your goals
Don’t just visualize your dream job, picture yourself doing that job.
If you want to be a motivational speaker, draw a picture of yourself on stage, don’t just wish for it. Don’t just visualize a piece of art, see yourself creating that piece of art.
There’s a small difference, but it makes a big impact.
The more you see yourself accomplishing your dream, the easier it is for your brain to put together all the pieces that make that dream a reality.